Passing of an ex-Grandfather-in-law

The complications never end when you are dealing with divorce. This week, it is about the passing of my ex-husband's mother's father.

Grandpa Liddell was a great man. He was so kind and loving, generous to a fault. He cared deeply for his family and they cared for him.

I found out last Tuesday that he had suffered a stroke and probably wouldn't wake from it, and if he did, he wouldn't be the same. The doctors gave him a few days at most.

On Wednesday, I got a text that he was awake and doing well, even eating lunch. They had transferred him to the care center where Grandma Liddell is staying because of her Alzheimer's. So it looked good again. (Just a little side story: I'm not sure what day it was, but Grandma had been asking for him, so they took her to his room. She was upset that they hadn't taken her to her husband, saying they had taken her to some "old man's" room, that her husband was young and strong. It is really sad how the mind can deteriorate so drastically.)

Friday, Cynthia asked if she could come out on Sunday to do more work on the house. She told me at that time that she didn't want to get into anything big because her dad could go at any time. She let me know he had another stroke and was in a coma again. He refused any life saving techniques, and the doctors gave him hours-days to live.

Yesterday, Wednesday the 19th, I took a second to check facebook during lunch at work. I see a message from Devin saying RIP Grandpa. I texted Amanda asking about it and she let me know he had passed the previous night. Mom didn't want to tell me until after work so I wouldn't be upset at work. Lousy facebook anyway.

I get another text from Amanda later in the afternoon letting me know the funeral will be Friday at 10 a.m. So I get the time off and wait for more details.

Mom calls me last night and lets me know what is going on. While talking over the details, she says she wants Dad to give the prayer at the graveside but it looked like he really didn't want to do that. She asked if I would give the prayer if he didn't.

I am honored and scared to death at the same time. I have not seen this man for years. I am not even a member of the family, technically. But here his daughter is asking me to pray for the family.

I know it won't be like an LDS service, obviously. The whole family may be technically baptized member's, but the kids and I are the only active ones. So, they don't care about that part of it. But I can't help but feel awkward. I loved the man, of course. Mom still sees me as part of her family, and with everything she has done for me lately, I do too.

However, how are her sister's going to feel about this? She was given the task to choose someone, so they really can't say a lot, but I am still so anxious about it. Not only do I have to come up with a prayer that will be comforting to this family, but I need to try my best to not offend anyone. Especially since I hadn't seen him for so long.

I know I shouldn't worry so much about it. I am really touched that Mom wants me to do it. (Although, it may just be that she knows no one else would even be a little bit willing to, but I want to think that even if there were other choices she still would feel the same.) I know it shouldn't matter what anybody else thinks. She is his daughter and she made the choice. I just pray I can send Grandpa off with some inspiring words for his family.

All in all, completely bizarre situation. What a drama filled family I have surrounding me. I must admit though, I do love them all. As weird as it is, as dysfunctional as we/they are, they are my family.