I will not be sad to see May end this year. So much has happened this month! Since the funerals on Friday, we woke up on Monday to hear that Stephanie had gone into labor, one month early. Mom and Dad rushed to get things together and leave for Illinois. I scrambled to get alternate care for my kids after school. I decided to let the Smith's take a chance at it.
I got off early on Monday though, so I took care of them Monday. On Tuesday, I get to the Smith house to pick up the kids. Long story that I won't go into, but it involves 7 cop cars, 1 ambulance, and the kids' uncle Scott getting arrested. Now, Annee is afraid he is going to hurt somebody, possibly Ambrosia, his baby girl, because she saw him clutching her and screaming he was taking his baby and leaving. Dessa found a pocket knife in Scott and Stephanie's bedroom and is now afraid when he comes home he will use anything to hurt himself or others. (The reason the police were called was because Scott was brandishing his hunting knife, threatening to hurt himself so Cynthia called the cops.)
I asked Cynthia to just drop my kids off at home yesterday (Wednesday) after school, because I was told that Scott could come home after 24 hours. Well, come to find out, they are charging him with a whole slew of things and set bail at $8,000. No one has that kind of money, so he is stuck in jail for now.
This isn't good for my kids either. Now they are more worried about him and wondering how long he can stay in jail. It is such a mess. Tyler hasn't said a word about it, and it frightens me. He never says much of anything and I am so afraid he is holding everything in and will one day explode from all the stress.
Needless to say, I told mom on Tuesday night that she is never allowed to leave town again. Ever. My kids need her too much. I will take her "boring" house over the alternative any day!
To top all this off, I have not been sleeping well at all and have a CONSTANT headache for the past week. I have had it with May. I want to take Cassandra's suggestion and just sleep the rest of the month and pray June is better for all of us.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
The passing of an ex-grandmother-in-law
The funeral on Friday ended up being a double funeral. It was totally shocking.
I arrived at the Smith house at around 8:30ish on Friday. Randy was on the couch, having just got home from work. Annee and I sat down and asked where everyone was. Randy said they were making the arrangements to postpone the funeral. I asked why and he said Grandma had passed away that morning.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Come to find out, that story I told in my last post about grandma visiting grandpa? Well, the staff at the care center were instructed to NOT let grandma see him. I guess after she did, she just shut down. She stopped eating, stopped responding to anybody, everything. Then, shortly before grandpa passed away, she had a stroke. She didn't wake up.
Grandma died almost 48 hours to the minute after Grandpa did.
In a way, it was a good thing. I am grateful that they are both together and not suffering any more. More than that though, I am grateful mom doesn't have to go through this a second time. This was hard enough for all of us, her especially. I think another week like this last one would have been too much for her.
So, we had a service for both of them on Friday at 3:00 p.m. It was amazing they were able to get everything ready that fast. There was a lot of drama during and afterward, but it is over now, and both Grandpa and Grandma can rest in peace now.
I arrived at the Smith house at around 8:30ish on Friday. Randy was on the couch, having just got home from work. Annee and I sat down and asked where everyone was. Randy said they were making the arrangements to postpone the funeral. I asked why and he said Grandma had passed away that morning.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Come to find out, that story I told in my last post about grandma visiting grandpa? Well, the staff at the care center were instructed to NOT let grandma see him. I guess after she did, she just shut down. She stopped eating, stopped responding to anybody, everything. Then, shortly before grandpa passed away, she had a stroke. She didn't wake up.
Grandma died almost 48 hours to the minute after Grandpa did.
In a way, it was a good thing. I am grateful that they are both together and not suffering any more. More than that though, I am grateful mom doesn't have to go through this a second time. This was hard enough for all of us, her especially. I think another week like this last one would have been too much for her.
So, we had a service for both of them on Friday at 3:00 p.m. It was amazing they were able to get everything ready that fast. There was a lot of drama during and afterward, but it is over now, and both Grandpa and Grandma can rest in peace now.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Passing of an ex-Grandfather-in-law
The complications never end when you are dealing with divorce. This week, it is about the passing of my ex-husband's mother's father.
Grandpa Liddell was a great man. He was so kind and loving, generous to a fault. He cared deeply for his family and they cared for him.
I found out last Tuesday that he had suffered a stroke and probably wouldn't wake from it, and if he did, he wouldn't be the same. The doctors gave him a few days at most.
On Wednesday, I got a text that he was awake and doing well, even eating lunch. They had transferred him to the care center where Grandma Liddell is staying because of her Alzheimer's. So it looked good again. (Just a little side story: I'm not sure what day it was, but Grandma had been asking for him, so they took her to his room. She was upset that they hadn't taken her to her husband, saying they had taken her to some "old man's" room, that her husband was young and strong. It is really sad how the mind can deteriorate so drastically.)
Friday, Cynthia asked if she could come out on Sunday to do more work on the house. She told me at that time that she didn't want to get into anything big because her dad could go at any time. She let me know he had another stroke and was in a coma again. He refused any life saving techniques, and the doctors gave him hours-days to live.
Yesterday, Wednesday the 19th, I took a second to check facebook during lunch at work. I see a message from Devin saying RIP Grandpa. I texted Amanda asking about it and she let me know he had passed the previous night. Mom didn't want to tell me until after work so I wouldn't be upset at work. Lousy facebook anyway.
I get another text from Amanda later in the afternoon letting me know the funeral will be Friday at 10 a.m. So I get the time off and wait for more details.
Mom calls me last night and lets me know what is going on. While talking over the details, she says she wants Dad to give the prayer at the graveside but it looked like he really didn't want to do that. She asked if I would give the prayer if he didn't.
I am honored and scared to death at the same time. I have not seen this man for years. I am not even a member of the family, technically. But here his daughter is asking me to pray for the family.
I know it won't be like an LDS service, obviously. The whole family may be technically baptized member's, but the kids and I are the only active ones. So, they don't care about that part of it. But I can't help but feel awkward. I loved the man, of course. Mom still sees me as part of her family, and with everything she has done for me lately, I do too.
However, how are her sister's going to feel about this? She was given the task to choose someone, so they really can't say a lot, but I am still so anxious about it. Not only do I have to come up with a prayer that will be comforting to this family, but I need to try my best to not offend anyone. Especially since I hadn't seen him for so long.
I know I shouldn't worry so much about it. I am really touched that Mom wants me to do it. (Although, it may just be that she knows no one else would even be a little bit willing to, but I want to think that even if there were other choices she still would feel the same.) I know it shouldn't matter what anybody else thinks. She is his daughter and she made the choice. I just pray I can send Grandpa off with some inspiring words for his family.
All in all, completely bizarre situation. What a drama filled family I have surrounding me. I must admit though, I do love them all. As weird as it is, as dysfunctional as we/they are, they are my family.
Grandpa Liddell was a great man. He was so kind and loving, generous to a fault. He cared deeply for his family and they cared for him.
I found out last Tuesday that he had suffered a stroke and probably wouldn't wake from it, and if he did, he wouldn't be the same. The doctors gave him a few days at most.
On Wednesday, I got a text that he was awake and doing well, even eating lunch. They had transferred him to the care center where Grandma Liddell is staying because of her Alzheimer's. So it looked good again. (Just a little side story: I'm not sure what day it was, but Grandma had been asking for him, so they took her to his room. She was upset that they hadn't taken her to her husband, saying they had taken her to some "old man's" room, that her husband was young and strong. It is really sad how the mind can deteriorate so drastically.)
Friday, Cynthia asked if she could come out on Sunday to do more work on the house. She told me at that time that she didn't want to get into anything big because her dad could go at any time. She let me know he had another stroke and was in a coma again. He refused any life saving techniques, and the doctors gave him hours-days to live.
Yesterday, Wednesday the 19th, I took a second to check facebook during lunch at work. I see a message from Devin saying RIP Grandpa. I texted Amanda asking about it and she let me know he had passed the previous night. Mom didn't want to tell me until after work so I wouldn't be upset at work. Lousy facebook anyway.
I get another text from Amanda later in the afternoon letting me know the funeral will be Friday at 10 a.m. So I get the time off and wait for more details.
Mom calls me last night and lets me know what is going on. While talking over the details, she says she wants Dad to give the prayer at the graveside but it looked like he really didn't want to do that. She asked if I would give the prayer if he didn't.
I am honored and scared to death at the same time. I have not seen this man for years. I am not even a member of the family, technically. But here his daughter is asking me to pray for the family.
I know it won't be like an LDS service, obviously. The whole family may be technically baptized member's, but the kids and I are the only active ones. So, they don't care about that part of it. But I can't help but feel awkward. I loved the man, of course. Mom still sees me as part of her family, and with everything she has done for me lately, I do too.
However, how are her sister's going to feel about this? She was given the task to choose someone, so they really can't say a lot, but I am still so anxious about it. Not only do I have to come up with a prayer that will be comforting to this family, but I need to try my best to not offend anyone. Especially since I hadn't seen him for so long.
I know I shouldn't worry so much about it. I am really touched that Mom wants me to do it. (Although, it may just be that she knows no one else would even be a little bit willing to, but I want to think that even if there were other choices she still would feel the same.) I know it shouldn't matter what anybody else thinks. She is his daughter and she made the choice. I just pray I can send Grandpa off with some inspiring words for his family.
All in all, completely bizarre situation. What a drama filled family I have surrounding me. I must admit though, I do love them all. As weird as it is, as dysfunctional as we/they are, they are my family.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mother's Day
OK, so this morning, on the way to work, the radio station played a little blurb from Everybody Loves Raymond where Patricia Wheaton was saying, "Father's Day is great, because it's being run by the Mother's!"
I laughed at that, and Dessa must have been listening because she immediately asked why that was funny. I explained and she had the nerve to ask me if I would help her with Father's Day for her dad.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Granted, my children are still young, and my wonderful Annee did take me out to Sizzler on Thursday for Mother's Day, and both Tyler and Dessa made things at school for me, which are always precious. However...NOT ONE OF MY CHILDREN WISHED ME A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY YESTERDAY!!!
Maybe it is too much to ask for. Fine. No problem. But now, Dessa wants me to make her dad's Father's Day special. This hurt. A lot. I kind of lost it with her and started going on about how he didn't help them with Mother's Day, and how in fact he never helps me with ANYTHING! She defended him by saying he had paid the money he owes me. Oh, if she only knew. I couldn't help but say that he still owes me over $5,000, so he still has a long way to go on that one.
She didn't say anything after that, but I am still seething and aching over it. I know I shouldn't be. She loves her dad, and she should think about him. I just get so frustrated when I hear how the kids want to do stuff for their dad when he doesn't do a darn thing for them. I told Dessa she is more than welcome to do what she wants to or to make something for her dad, but that I can not help her.
Am I wrong in this? Even now, I am really trying hard not to cry. It is very hard to focus on work at the moment because it hurts so bad. I hate that I feel this way! I am the one getting all the benefits of parenting these kids, and I know how lucky I am. It just really hurts that they don't see how much little comments like that hurt me. I just need to grow up and get over it I guess.
I laughed at that, and Dessa must have been listening because she immediately asked why that was funny. I explained and she had the nerve to ask me if I would help her with Father's Day for her dad.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Granted, my children are still young, and my wonderful Annee did take me out to Sizzler on Thursday for Mother's Day, and both Tyler and Dessa made things at school for me, which are always precious. However...NOT ONE OF MY CHILDREN WISHED ME A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY YESTERDAY!!!
Maybe it is too much to ask for. Fine. No problem. But now, Dessa wants me to make her dad's Father's Day special. This hurt. A lot. I kind of lost it with her and started going on about how he didn't help them with Mother's Day, and how in fact he never helps me with ANYTHING! She defended him by saying he had paid the money he owes me. Oh, if she only knew. I couldn't help but say that he still owes me over $5,000, so he still has a long way to go on that one.
She didn't say anything after that, but I am still seething and aching over it. I know I shouldn't be. She loves her dad, and she should think about him. I just get so frustrated when I hear how the kids want to do stuff for their dad when he doesn't do a darn thing for them. I told Dessa she is more than welcome to do what she wants to or to make something for her dad, but that I can not help her.
Am I wrong in this? Even now, I am really trying hard not to cry. It is very hard to focus on work at the moment because it hurts so bad. I hate that I feel this way! I am the one getting all the benefits of parenting these kids, and I know how lucky I am. It just really hurts that they don't see how much little comments like that hurt me. I just need to grow up and get over it I guess.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Falling
I have been working on a problem for some time now at work. I have spent hours on this thing. I have contacted numerous people for help, and finally just dug in and read the help file to figure it out. And now it is fixed.
Well, I was so excited that it worked, that when I was walking back to my main office after testing the last piece, I fell up the little concrete steps leading to my building. Now, it wouldn't be so bad, but this isn't the first time I have done this. In fact, I think it is the 4th time since I moved to this office in December that I have fallen.
It is so embarrassing. Last time, one of our maintenance guys saw me. This time, a random stranger offered to help me up and handed me my shoe, which had fallen off.
Now, my knees are scraped up yet again, my foot hurts from hitting the step, and I slammed down on my hand this time also, so my hand hurts. None of this hurts as bad as my pride though! I can't believe this keeps happening! I have a scar on my knee from the last time that still hurts when I kneel on it.
I have got to figure out why I keep falling! Maybe I need rubber soled shoes with spikes for traction...Something!!
Well, I was so excited that it worked, that when I was walking back to my main office after testing the last piece, I fell up the little concrete steps leading to my building. Now, it wouldn't be so bad, but this isn't the first time I have done this. In fact, I think it is the 4th time since I moved to this office in December that I have fallen.
It is so embarrassing. Last time, one of our maintenance guys saw me. This time, a random stranger offered to help me up and handed me my shoe, which had fallen off.
Now, my knees are scraped up yet again, my foot hurts from hitting the step, and I slammed down on my hand this time also, so my hand hurts. None of this hurts as bad as my pride though! I can't believe this keeps happening! I have a scar on my knee from the last time that still hurts when I kneel on it.
I have got to figure out why I keep falling! Maybe I need rubber soled shoes with spikes for traction...Something!!
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