I have to vent...

Ok, so I never thought I would jump on the blog wagon, but I have to vent tonight and thought this would be the easiest forum.

I just got back from my ex-husband's mom's house. Ok, already complicated, but it gets so much worse. I took the kids over because grandma had some new coats for them and I wanted to have them for this weekend (first snow expected in valley, already). I never thought I would be entering into a soap opera, although I should expect it as it happens pretty much every time we go there.

We walk into a full house. Cynthia (ex's mom) neglected to tell me that it was also the night of Michaela's birthday party when I said I would come over. So baby turning one, and the guests included: Cynthia (grandma Smith), Austin & Kaitlyn (Michaela's mom & dad), Devin & Aleta & Daniella (Devin is 16 year old who just had baby Daniella with girlfriend Aleta), Scott (later joined with Stephanie, new girlfriend), Amanda & Miley (Miley is a little over one and Amanda is pregnant with little boy), Cassandra & Jason & Guilee (Guilee is Cassandra's daughter, Jason new husband, Cassandra is also pregnant), Michaela's other grandma & grandpa (Kaitlyn's parents), and lastly, Matt (with new girlfriend and son, didn't catch their names). Add myself and my 3 children, and it was total chaos.

Okay, so you probably already caught some of the drama, but let me go on. There were several things that were unveiled to me tonight. First, Matt's wife, Becca, has taken their 2 kids and emptied his house and is suing for EVERYTHING! She will not let him see kids and when she emptied the house, she even took all of Austin, Kaitlyn, and Michaela's things, as they are living in the basement. When I say she took everything, I mean even down to Michaela's clothes, sippy cups, and toys. Now Matt is dating new girl with a son younger than a year old.

Second, Cassandra is filing bankruptcy and moving into ex-husband Josh's new 6 bedroom house with new husband, Guilee, and soon new baby. Does anyone else see a problem with this??? It makes no sense to me at all.

Third, ex-husband is having major financial crisis (no surprise) but he is also thinking of bankruptcy, and currently pays current wife over $1000 per month for child support. I am so furious!! I was just getting used to the idea of him renting house with new girlfriend and her 3+ kids. Now I find out that the reason he can't help me with my kids' birthday parties is because he is paying so much to current wife, at least I think they are still married. The divorce is still pending last I heard but she got some crack judge to order all this back support. He is already swamped with their loans, evictions, and repo. All of this really wouldn't bother me except I let it slip to his mom that I needed to talk to him about the health care premiums he hasn't been helping me with (before I heard all this.) Now she wants me to lay off because he is stressed enough. AUGH!!!

There is more, but that is the worst part. No, actually the worst part is that because of all this drama, Annee is upstairs crying herself to sleep because she doesn't want to spend more time with the Smith's. She is so disappointed in loosing everyone and the choices they have made. I tried to tell her it was ok to be upset, but she needs to try to just love them and hate their actions as I try to do. I tried to tell her that she needed to try to spend time like she did tonight, laughing and playing and ignoring all the drama. It breaks my heart to see that she loves them so much but wants to cut all ties (her words.) She is already so upset that her dad spends more time with new girl's kids then his own. Now all this.

I try to keep in touch, but it keeps getting harder and harder. I still feel like they are family, but they are so dysfunctional it is hard to have my kids subjected to all the crap. They do have a good time when they are there, but I worry at what cost. Is is right to keep going there? Do I cut ties completely? How can I explain to the kids that this is not a good way to live? I tried to explain tonight how chaotic and sad their lives are because of choices they made, but still tried to enforce that they can love them and enjoy their time together. It's really hard when Ty and Dessa see nothing wrong with anything they are doing. I don't know how much they understand about what was going on, but the example of how they are all living is enough to scare me away. I am so torn as to what to do....

Anyway, I just knew that if I didn't get these thoughts out tonight I would never sleep. Thanks for letting a frustrated single mom rant. Good night.