Hard Decisions

I have some tough decisions to make. With my budget the way it is, I have to cut everything to the bone. So I am thinking I will get a second line on my cell phone, which will be about $15-$20 more per month, and cancelling my cable/Internet/phone package which is $75 a month.

This is very painful. I am already feeling Internet withdrawals because our home computer is out of commission until dad can find time to rebuild it. (Stupid viruses anyway!) The thought of going without Internet for an extended period is extremely difficult.

I just don't know what to do. I have asked for deferments on 2 of my 3 student loans (I am trying to find the info for the last one,) I have cut all my payments to the bare minimum, with some of them below minimum, and I have had to cancel the counseling sessions for the girls. That one is the hardest one. They need it so badly, but I just can not justify $50 a week for that; not when I can't afford food and gas right now.

I actually got down to $1.20 in my account before this last payday. I can't believe how hard it has gotten. With my stupid insurance premiums that doubled in July, no child support for over 2 months, and everything else going on, I have whittled my way down to nothing. I have maxed my Walmart card buying groceries for heaven's sake!

I honestly don't know what else to do right now. Looking on the bright side though, if I cancel Internet and cable, that leaves a lot of time for us as a family to do things together. We can start walking everyday, like I have wanted to do for a long time. We can clean the house from top to bottom. We can put away all that clean laundry that keeps piling up because no one wants to fold it.

I guess there is a good side to everything. I just hope I can get out of this rut soon. I am more than used to struggling, but this is beyond struggling. This is drowning, slowly and painfully!