Stupid, stupid, stupid

I have made a huge mistake. I can't believe I didn't think about it first. Sheesh.

Sandie has been asking me for awhile now if Dessa could spend the night. I have just ignored her calls for awhile, not wanting to tell her no but not wanting Dessa to go. So this last time, I emailed her letting her know that I don't want Dessa spending the night with Guilee anymore. I mentioned how atrocious her behavior was at Leatherby's, how I don't like the example Dessa gets with her.

She replied back how hurt she was by that and how I have been slowly cutting them (the Smith's) out of the kids' lives. She said it wasn't fair if I didn't get along with Randy to take it out on them.

I replied back that actually, Randy and I have been getting along pretty well lately. I told her that he knows I won't be attending any more Smith get together's, but if he wants to take the kids, he is more than welcome to. I asked for her understanding that I just wanted what was best for my kids.

Oops. Wrong thing to say. Now that I think of it, it does sound like a huge insult to all the Smiths. So she replied back: "I am more than hurt. I am angry. What are you trying to protect your kids from? Their family? The people who have loved and cared for them since the moment they were born? The people who have always been there for YOU? It isn't fair Jenn. I know Guilee is a spoiled brat at times but her life hasn't been any easier than any of your children. She not only has had her parents divorce but lost a baby brother very recently. It has been a difficult year for all of us and now she just lost her favorite cousin, her best friend. What is all this about???? If you and Randy are getting along, what did we do? The Smiths? What did I do? What did Guilee do besides be a kid? A lost, hurt kid?"

All right, so I shouldn't have said anything more than I didn't want Dessa to spend the night with Guilee. Now I have opened a whole can of worms I wasn't meaning to. But really, I have a beef with some of what she said. (I will not be responding to her, as obviously it can only lead to more bad feelings.) When she says Guilee lost a baby brother, he died in utero at about 7 months. Guilee never knew him. I know, it is still a hard thing, but really. Get over it all ready. She has a brand new baby brother that was just born last month! And she says Guilee's life hasn't been any easier than any of my children's? That is exactly the point!! I am trying to make my kids' lives better! They have gone through a whole ton and don't need any more drama than is necessary. I wish I could tell her the number of times I have had to calm down a sobbing Annee right after seeing their family. Maybe she would understand.

I know anything else I say will only make it worse now, so I will refrain. But I can not see how she can say they have always been there for me. Yes, they have included me in family functions. However, I have not felt like one of the family for many years. She lives with her ex-husband for heavens sake. How can she possibly understand how it might feel to someone with a more moral, stable life to associate with the drama that the Smith's bring?

Ok, now I am really riled up. I shouldn't have said anything. Hind sight you know. UGH!! I just feel like screaming. (Unfortunately I am at work and can't.)

On a lighter note; long story, but a resident came in today bringing applications for new occupants in the house she leases from us. One of them was declined because of felony charges. Andrew told her, and she said, "what is a felony?" ?! When he showed her our company policy on criminal charges, she asks, "so where do all the criminals live?"

That made Andrew and I laugh for a good long time. She thought murder was the only felony! Andrew had to explain what other types of felony's there were, without disclosing what the applicant failed for. It was way funny that he had to explain this to a girl in college.